Why Your Life Is a Direct Result of Your Choices (And What To Do About It)
This one might sting a little. Good. That means it's working.
People say it to me all the time.
"You're so lucky, Carrie." "I wish I could live your life." "You're living the dream."
And honestly? It pisses me off.
Because my life is not luck. It is a direct result of every choice I have made. And the same is true for you, whether you realise it or not.
Everything in Your Life Is a Result of Your Choices
Every single thing you are experiencing right now, your relationships, your career, your freedom, your limitations, is a result of the choices you have made.
I know what you're thinking. But Carrie, there are things in my life I would never have chosen.
I get it. And I'm not dismissing that.
But the truth is: we create absolutely everything in our lives. And when you can accept that, you stop being a passenger and start being the driver.
Because the moment you take full responsibility for having created everything in your life, you also take back the power to choose how you respond going forward. And that is where everything shifts.
What About the Really Hard Stuff?
Some of us experience genuinely catastrophic things. Devastating things. I have too. And I've sat with the thought: what the absolute fuck did I do creating that?
Here's what I believe, and what my shamanic path has taught me.
Before we manifested here as human beings, our souls, our higher selves, had a plan. A soul contract. The idea that I'm going to manifest as this human being. I'm going to create these scenarios so I can experience these emotions, learn these lessons, grow and expand as a spiritual being.
And of course, there is Karma. That’s a whole different blog!
We are never given anything we cannot handle. Never. Our higher selves wouldn't do that to us. We might not like what we're given, but we can always deal with it.
And how we respond to what happens to us? That is entirely our choice.
Even Not Choosing Is a Choice
This is the part people don't want to hear.
If you choose to relinquish your power, to put the decision outside of yourself, to let someone else or something else choose for you, that is still a choice. Your choice.
Going along with what your parents wanted. Staying in the job because it's easier. Not leaving the relationship because of fear. Choosing the path of least resistance because you can't face the alternative.
These are all choices. Some conscious, some unconscious. But choices all the same.
Why So Many Women Outsource Their Power
So many women are completely disconnected from who they are and what they actually want. And because of that disconnection, they outsource their power. They let their parents choose. Their teachers. Society. A partner.
Not because they're weak. But because they genuinely don't know who they are.
And even when they do know what they want, one of three things gets in the way:
They don't believe they could ever actually have it
They can't see how to make it happen, so they don't choose it
They're simply too scared to admit it, even to themselves
So they default. They settle. They choose what's familiar because at least they know how to survive it.
It Takes Courage to Choose Differently
Facing who you really are takes courage.
Admitting to yourself, and to the world, what your true dreams are takes courage.
And sometimes it is genuinely easier not to go there. Easier to settle. Easier to shrink. Easier to keep choosing what you've always chosen because at least you know what that life looks like.
But you can always make a different choice.
Start Here
Observe without judgment. Ask yourself honestly:
Am I choosing to settle?
Am I choosing the path of least resistance?
Am I outsourcing my power to someone else?
Am I denying that my life is a direct result of my choices?
You don't need to fix everything today. You just need to see it clearly first.
Then you choose. Deliberately. Consciously. For yourself.
This is what I talk about every week on the No Bullshit Spirituality podcast. If this resonated, come and listen, and share this with a woman who needs to read it today.
If you're ready to go deeper, head to my website to find out how we can work together, including the Warrior's Choice Retreat in August 2026.
Dream bigger. Step into the life you actually want.
Carrie x
